Tues., Aug 15
Made it through the weekend. The memorial for Lynn was not well planned and so there were lots of disappointed people when unexpected turns in the service were taken.
I was pleased with the memories that were brought forth but surprised at one cousin’s presentation. It did not have anything to do with Lynn and she didn’t make any connection between what she read and why we were there.
After lots of drama, Lynn’s immediate family (mother, sisters, brother, nieces, nephews and husband) were able to gather together, alone from the rest of the extended family. I was a bit disappointed because I was unable to really sit down to talk about Lynn. Felt like I was pulling teeth to get her husband to share. Felt like brother and sister didn’t feel comfortable with the whole situation. I think no one knew what to expect or how to deal with the dynamics, including me.
I know Lynn no longer has to deal with any problems, pain, or heartache but she also isn’t here to enjoy her children and their lives along with her other likes and interests. Looking at it selfishly, I can no longer try to get to know her better as an adult. We only reconnected in the past few years. She was going to come visit last year but didn’t make it. I was looking forward to when she would or when I could go see her. Now it will never happen.
I am disappointed Lynn’s children didn’t make it to join us for remembrances but with the way it all turned out, maybe it was good they weren’t here. I feel like I’m going to lose them along with Lynn.
My memory of Lynn is she was beautiful inside and out. She was insecure in many ways and had a difficult time making decisions yet she was a teacher of adults and children, she took various kinds of dance classes, she traveled to various countries around the world, raised two children while her husband was away in the military, and helped her children get through a tough school system in Germany. She spoke three languages. She had a sweet sense of humor and was gentle. Lynn was seeing a counselor to try to get a better handle on her self and her life…trying to better herself. She must have been more complex than I knew but she almost always had a smile.